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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others – and Start Loving Yourself

We’ve all been there: scrolling through Instagram, seeing a radiant colleague celebrating a promotion, a friend effortlessly traveling the world, and an influencer with the “perfect” body and an unshakable smile.


And suddenly, you wonder: Why am I not like that? What am I doing wrong?


I get it. You’re not alone. And let me tell you: You’re not doing anything wrong. Let’s explore why we compare ourselves so often and how we can break free from this cycle.

 


two pineapples compared

Why Do We Constantly Compare Ourselves?

From a young age, we’re taught to measure ourselves against others. Grades in school, promotions at work, and the social race for success, love, and recognition. Today, with social media, comparison is constant. We see only the highlights of others – and forget that they have struggles and insecurities too.


There’s even a scientific explanation: In the 1950s, psychologist Leon Festinger explained that we have an inherent need to evaluate ourselves – and we do it by comparing ourselves to others.


He identified two types of comparison: upward comparison (looking up to those who seem “better”) and downward comparison (looking at those who seem worse off). Sound familiar? Instagram is a breeding ground for upward comparisons – and that often leaves us feeling unhappy.


But there’s a way out: Stop measuring yourself against others and start celebrating your own progress. You are your own benchmark! 🧡



The Invisible Wounds of Comparison


Constant comparison eats away at our self-worth. We downplay our achievements. The feeling of never being enough becomes a constant companion, leading to perfectionism, overwhelm, and self-doubt.

Ever had these thoughts?


• Why am I not as successful as her?

• Why can’t I look like that?

• Am I even good enough?

These thoughts hurt, but they’re also the first step toward change.


Psychologist E. Tory Higgins found that our self-esteem suffers when we keep thinking we “should” or “must” be different. Sound familiar? That endless mental checklist: “I should be more successful,” “I must be thinner” ... No wonder it’s exhausting.


What helps? Stop fighting who you truly are. You are enough, exactly as you are. Start listening to yourself and accepting yourself – that’s where true self-love begins. 🌸



The Pressure of Social Norms


Beauty standards, performance pressure, and the endless pursuit of perfection weigh us down. Women are expected to excel in their careers while being perfect mothers, partners, and friends. Strong but not too strong. Successful but humble. Attractive but natural. It’s an impossible balancing act.


How to Break Free from the Comparison Trap

  1. Recognize and Question the Comparison

    When you catch yourself comparing, pause. Ask yourself: Why do I feel this way? What insecurity is being triggered? Often, our comparisons reflect our own fears.

  2. Limit Social Media

    Follow accounts that inspire you and make you feel good. Unfollow those that make you doubt yourself. Pay attention to how content affects you.

  3. Celebrate Your Wins Every day!

    No matter how small. Survived a tough day? A win. Spoke up for yourself? A win. Celebrate yourself.

  4. Practice Self-Compassion

    Be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend.

  5. Find What Truly Makes You Happy

    Not what makes others happy. You. Maybe it’s a new hobby, a break, or simply more time for yourself. What energizes you?


The Journey to Self-Love Self-love isn’t a destination; it’s a journey. A constant process of learning, accepting, and growing. And yes, there will be hard days. But on those days, self-love matters most.


“Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.”


Let’s Grow Together

If you feel stuck in comparison and need support, you’re not alone. I’m here to help. Book your free clarity call here, and let’s find your path to self-love together.

You are enough. You always have been, and you always will be. 💜





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